Facing My Frog

Our apartment is certainly not a Martha Stewart home by any stretch of the imagination, but I do work hard to at least keep it clean and somewhat organized.
One of many reasons why a cockroach in the bathroom sink is a problem.
But, problem or not, there he was – at 2:30 a.m. – failing his legs in the air near the drain.
I will admit my first response was rather stereotypical: I shrieked and hoped my husband would come save me.
But he slept on. (Good to know in case a crazy ax-murderer ever breaks into our home.)
Well, it’s a commonly known fact that cockroaches don’t die. Ever. They will be here after the nuclear holocaust has destroyed the rest of creation. So obviously smashing it was not a viable option and would only further contaminate my sink.
The only realistic course of action was to somehow transfer the revolting creature to the toilet – a mere 12 inches away – and flush him. But how?
Now I must admit that, in this situation, I was rather fortunate the intruder was stuck on his back. Because, of course, a cockroach on his back is a hundred times better than a cockroach on his legs.
(Those little devils are FAST!)
I first tried scooping him out of the sink on an old toilet paper roll from the trash, but realized the slope would flip him onto his legs. Obviously a very bad idea.
After about forty-five minutes of frantic deliberation and several more shrieks (the mister never woke up) I finally got the roach into a plastic cup and dumped him into the toilet.
I flushed four times, just to be sure, and finally woke my husband and cried like the terrified sissy-girl I sometimes am.
I learned several things from this very early morning encounter with fear itself, starting with the fact that it’s best not to know what may be lurking in the plumbing.
Secondly, the mister is an incredibly heavy sleeper. If I am kidnapped from our home in the middle of the night hopefully one of our neighbors will hear my screams and call the police. Because he sure won’t.
Thirdly, sewer-dwelling bugs are most definitely a boy’s job. Early morning or not, the next time I find a multi-legged creature of any kind I’m letting my husband take care of it. I’m all for strong women, but there are certain lines that have to be drawn.
And, last but not least, the saying is true that “if you swallow a frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.”
But when it comes to cockroaches, I’d rather flush.

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4 thoughts on “Facing My Frog

  1. Erin – you made me laugh out loud and for that I thank you! I just had a similar experience with ants in the kitchen and my mister. Just the memory makes me shudder! 😉

  2. I saw a shirt recently that made me think of you. Reading this reminded me of it…

    “There is nothing to fear but fear itself…oh, and spiders…did I mention spiders?”

    HaHaHa!

  3. Pingback: “You’d better love me. Like lots of babies love me.” « Welcome to the Nut House

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