It’s A Crazy, Tragic, Sometimes Almost Magic, Awful, Beautiful Life

I beg forgiveness of all those who have called, texted and Facebook messaged me asking why there wasn’t a column last week.

I am honored to know so many are such loyal readers and I hope I haven’t lost anyone in the posting gap. I have learned my lesson: Write on the weekends because there’s no way you’re going to have time during the week. (There will be two this week to compensate, so check back around Thursday.)

I’m taking four classes and working three jobs, but as far as frustration goes I think the mister takes the cake for the week. He got two parking tickets within 12 hours for the same offense . . . that he didn’t commit.

Now, I’m not trying to call out our public safety officers. They work hard; they keep our campus one of the safest in the southeast and are relatively friendly. But I’d like to see the application requirements for their student ticket-writers.

The mister has a parking sticker clearly displayed on the lower driver’s side of his windshield, as required. Yet somehow he got a ticket for failure to display his permit. This was at 5:00 p.m. and the ticket office was closed.

The next morning he goes to class at 8 a.m., planning to appeal his ticket afterwards. The traffic clerk is kind enough to recognize the mistake and void the charge. Everything’s fine, right?

Wrong. Because when he got back to his truck after voiding the original ticket, he found ANOTHER TICKET on his windshield for the SAME OFFENSE! But the traffic office can’t void this one – even though the ticket writer is clearly an idiot – because second offenses must be appealed in writing. To a board that won’t meet until after the ticket is due. So we had to pay the fine.

It was not astronomical and did not break the bank by any means, but it’s the principle of the thing. I’ve never seen the mister so angry. I thought the apartment above us was going to come crashing down on top of me when he slammed the door.

I just don’t understand why public safety can’t seem to hire students who can read. Or at least see clearly. And this is not the first time someone I know has been given a ticket for an offense that didn’t make sense.

For example, how difficult is it to look at the curb and check that it’s red before citing a car for parking in a fire zone? Why can’t you verify that the sign does in fact say “30 minute parking” before writing a ticket for a time zone?

And if you’re going to write a ticket for parking the wrong direction on the side of the road, you should be sure you actually know which direction traffic is flowing. It’s just common sense.

So if you ever come visit us at school, be sure you take a picture of your car before you leave it in the lot. You never know when you’ll be fined for doing something correctly.

*Title taken from a Darryl Worley song


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