The Nut House’s Top Ten Things Learned in the First Two Weeks
1. “To Lime” means to hang out.
2. Do not wear jeans before 6 p.m. or you may very well die of a heat stroke.
3. There are approximately 40,000 people living on St. Kitts. There are 80,000 monkeys. And they are not afraid of you.
4. Drive on the LEFT side of the road!! And don’t watch when your taxi/bus driver drives. . . they are vicious.
5. Sticker shock is a real disease and should not be taken lightly. To minimize the side effects, divide all store prices by 3 (or by 2.6, if you’re good at math) to estimate the U.S. dollar amount. Prepare yourself, because it still will not be pleasant.
6. Check expiration dates on everything you buy and examine all boxes and bags for signs of holes and bugs.
7. Go out to eat before you are hungry, because by the time you get your food, you will be hungry. Don’t expect dinner to take less than 2.5-3 hours.
8. Expect there to be sand everywhere. Even when you didn’t walk through any sand, touch any sand or bring any sand into the house, it will still somehow end up in your bed.
9. Do not swim in unmarked areas. Yes, the beach and the water are beautiful, but the bottom is guarded by sea urchins and fire coral. (9b. Do not touch the fire coral.)
10. Ross University is kind of like Fort Knox. If you do not have your I.D., you will not get in. (Unless you get the nice security guard that knows you and likes you and will take your ridiculous story about losing your I.D. card to a monkey.)
[11. Because this needs to be said for the sake of all who may someday come to visit us – everything down here involves alcohol. All the restaurants serve alcohol. All the beaches have bars. All the locals and students get drunk everywhere. It’s just something you’re all going to have to deal with and work around when/if you come. If you can’t deal with it, you might as well not waste the money.]