Things that make me say, “hmmm…”

Now, I’m going to preface this post by saying that I would never support the killing of another human being. However, I do sometimes wonder what society would be like if we just removed warning labels from products and let nature take its course.

I mean think about it: most warning labels are probably there because somebody, sometime, somewhere tried to do whatever stupid thing the label warns you about and then sued the company because they “didn’t tell me that was dangerous.”

Survival of the fittest, people. Survival of the fittest.

For example, I was at the grocery store today buying candles and the labels of one particular brand all screamed, “Do not light this candle near things that burn!”

Really? Fire might damage things that burn? Well, you learn something new every day, now don’t you?

But I did notice that the other brands on the shelf did not include that warning, so apparently those flames won’t burn things that burn. Special wicks, I suppose.

Or consider the tags that come on all hairdryers: “Do not use this product in the shower.” Or on curling irons: “Do not insert this product into any orifice.” …Really? Does somebody really need to be told not to stick a burning metal rod inside your body? That’s disturbing. And who tries to dry their hair in the shower? It’s still getting wet at that point, so I don’t know what the advantage would be in the first place.

And don’t even get me started on fan belts that say “be sure to stop your engine before installing this device.”

Anyway, there are a lot of things that just make me stop and think about what the person was thinking when they wrote/said/posted/created whatever it is. Warning labels are at the top of the list, but here are a few of the other contenders:

2. All buses here in St. Kitts have something painted on them, usually a word or phrase of some sort. Often, these phrases are written in “island speak,” substituting “dem” and “dis” for “them” and “this” respectively, among other examples, so sometimes things are spelled differently than you would expect. Today I was leaving the grocery store and saw one that was surely intended to say “Simmer Down,” but instead said “Simmer Dung.” Yes. Simmer. Dung. I refuse to believe that was on purpose; I do at least have some faith in humanity left. #OISK

3. I passed a car a few months back that had a rear tire cover that said, “Learn to drive and stay in your lane!” in flashy letters. The driver was going less than half the speed limit in the middle of the road. #OISK

4.  Women that will wear a sweater and scarf and gloves and winter boots with a mini skirt. What, do you only get cold from the waist up? How did you manage that? (This doesn’t happen in St. Kitts, of course, but it’s winter back home and I always have to resist the urge to ask the woman what she was thinking when she got dressed that morning.)

5. There is a faucet in our yard connected to a hose that hangs over the rock wall and drains into a swampy area between our row of houses and the golf course. I always thought this was one of several hoses used by the gardeners to tend the landscaping. I found out yesterday that this faucet is connected to a waste tank and drains sewer water over the wall. When I asked the gardener why in the world there would be a faucet installed for sewer water, he mumbled something about draining and a refinery that I didn’t understand, but it still seems to me that water should go from the waste tank to a refinery without having to have a faucet in my yard. Does that sound unreasonable to anyone else? #OISK

What are some things that make you say, “hmmmm”?

JUST UPDATED: Read this post from Sarah’s Brand New Chapter. This definitely makes the list!


5 thoughts on “Things that make me say, “hmmm…”

  1. a short time ago, I was at a motorcycle dealership waiting on parts. As I browsed the counter I saw some anit-fog spray for helments. (keeps your faceshield from fogging up) As I read the bottle, on the back is a bold caution.
    “CAUTION: NOT for use on contact lenses or direct use in eyes.”
    REALLY?! I mean are there people that are really that stupid? I mean I have seen those 5 gallon buckets with the warning on the side “Not for use as a hard hat” I can understand that, I think I have met some of those people…
    And don’t get me started on the ones like on the strollers that say “Remove child before folding”

  2. Wait ’till you have kids! Everything is PLASTERED in warnings in several different languages about all the ways this product can kill your child. Two foot long tags about all the dangers, and then a tag about how dangerous the two foot long tag is. Morbid. Creepy. Not confidence boosting to a brand new parent who’s afraid to blink lest the pack and play close up and swallow her baby whole. I can’t even buy a bath seat for Avery because they were all recalled because some parents left their kid in the bath unattended in one and…well… Don’t get me wrong, I think if any child is harmed it’s a tragedy. But all these warnings are common sense! It’s exhausting!!

    • Hahahaha!! That’s hilarious. Not the kid in the bath seat, obviously, that’s terrible. What kind of idiot do you have to be to leave a kid that young alone in a tub of water? I’m scared to death to leave the toddlers I watch unattended for the 30 seconds it takes me to get them a new towel from the linen closet, and they’re at least old enough to be aware of the water. But your tag about the dangers of the tag made me giggle a little bit.

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