I should have gone to Hogwarts

My mom sent me this image today, and while I’ve seen it before, it hasn’t ever been quite as true as this past week. I know that those who can knit or crochet (which are not the same thing, by the way) are in the minority, so I don’t expect my customers to know the difference or to know how crocheting works. However, I’ve been amazed at some of the things I’ve been asked to make over the past few days. Great horned owls (for which there seem to be no patterns online), centipedes (which I refuse to make because “if I build it, they will come”), and a variety of strangely exotic birds, to name a few.

Now, I don’t have a problem when potential customers bring me a picture of a particular animal and ask if I can make it. I’m flattered, actually, that they have so much assumed faith in my abilities. However, it does start to be a problem when said customer refuses to accept that something just isn’t going to work. Either a pattern doesn’t exist (I can freehand somewhat but I need at least a basic starting shape.), I don’t have the materials and they aren’t willing to wait (we live in a third-world country, people. I don’t exactly have a Hobby Lobby.), or the animal doesn’t look EXACTLY like the real thing.

That’s been an issue lately – people seeming to think their products are going to be exact replicas rather than toys. It’s a stuffed animal! Not a die-cast mold of your beloved pet. I try to find a basic body shape that fits the pet’s breed and then match the color scheme as close to a picture as I can. That’s the best I can do. If you have some exotic breed of parrot with multicolored iridescent wings, and the best I can do is a basic parrot, that’s the best I can do. I am not going to use hundreds of brain cells to make one stitch at a time in different colors just to mimic this species’ wings. No amount of money that a student is willing to pay could cover that kind of stress.

(And another thing, if you think the price I quoted you is too high, just say no thanks and walk away. Don’t stand by my table for 20 minutes and complain loudly about how you can’t BELIEVE I would make it so expensive. I charge in local EC prices, which means I’m actually only making a third of that in US dollars. I do this for my own entertainment and hardly make any profit at all. So if you want to complain about it [and be the only person, I might add, because nobody else seems to think I charge too much], that’s your own cheap problem.)

Sometimes color schemes just aren’t feasible with a customer’s deadline. For example, 7th semester students have to have their orders done before finals because they leave the island for good after that, and I work with them as much as I can to finish everything they order before they leave. Sometimes a 7th semester student wants something that is possible, but not with the supplies I currently have. I would have to get the special supplies when I go home in August, at which point the customer will have already moved away. Therefore, that order isn’t possible for that particular person. People refuse to accept this. One customer asked if her family could bring the special yarn when they come to help her move…. the week before she leaves. I’m sorry, but it’s just not going to happen. I have suitcases to pack too, you know.

I really should have gone to Hogwarts, because people seem to think I can just wave my little crochet stick around and POOF! life-like yarn animals appear. I’m not complaining, per say, because I enjoy making all sorts of animals and I’m glad to be making a little bit of money; I’m more just voicing my amazement at some of the orders and questions that have come in. For the most part, however, my customer-base has been very excited and supportive of my products and I’ve gotten lots of good reviews and referrals. This month I’ve done a donkey, a pomeranian, a blanket with a monkey head, a regular baby blanket, six baby sea turtles and a giraffe, and I still have another donkey and a red panda to work on this week. Business is keeping my busy, so I always have that to be thankful for.

What magic have you been asked to perform lately?

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2 thoughts on “I should have gone to Hogwarts

  1. It’s a double-edged sword when someone shows a picture and asks, “Can you make this?” The answer should always be ‘no,’ but what would life be without challenges? So I’m crocheting skirt for the 1st time, but we won’t tell anyone that… Cheers!

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