An Unexpected Patient

The Mister and I spent part of this past Sunday afternoon performing surgery on our back porch.

We assembled our tools and prepared the space before bringing out the patient. During the hour-long procedure we were able to explore the entire body cavity and clean out an obscene amount of gunk and build-up clogging the arteries. The patient is still on rest orders and cannot perform any work until replacement parts have arrived, but we are hopeful for a full recovery.

Whoever thought a vacuum cleaner would be so much work!

I knew I smelled something funny while cleaning on Sunday, but the carpet had gotten pretty bad and I powered through. Besides, the last time I smelled something burning I had sucked up a cell phone charger, and since there were no chargers present, I ignored it. Then I emptied the almost-full canister into the kitchen garbage.

That’s when I noticed it.

There was — and I am ashamed to admit this — all kinds of dog hair and nastiness filling up the inside hose components of the vacuum. I mean, this was a wedding present, and we’ve been married almost three years, and I’ve never done this before….. so picture that.

Now, I don’t completely abuse the thing. I empty the canister periodically and I sometimes have to remove gunk from the bottom, but it had honestly never occurred to me that I might ever need a second vacuum cleaner just to clean the first vacuum cleaner.

So out to the porch I went… soon discovering that a pair of needle-nosed pliers was not going to cut it. The Mister came out to help and, with the help of a wire coat hanger and a few brave puffs of air, eventually managed to remove a small puppy from the appliance. Top to bottom, every inch of the hosing was stuffed to capacity, and every time we thought we were done, we’d pull out another owl-pellet of compressed dirt. No wonder I couldn’t clean anything off the carpet! The next time I use the thing (after new filters get delivered, since we don’t even want to TALK about the state that was in), it will probably have enough suction to pull our thin carpet completely off the floorboards!

What was a time when you realized you were not as wonderful a housekeeper as you thought? Or that a small appliance got the best of you? Or that you had to perform unexpected emergency surgery on your porch, for that matter – I’ll take anything.

Happy Wednesday, and remember, love your vacuum.

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5 thoughts on “An Unexpected Patient

  1. Made my day. A lot of us will not admit to some of these things, but we have all been there. Carry on. Hugs to you both.

    • I didn’t want to write about this at first, but the mister said, “oh, so you can blog about my dirty underwear but not about some dirt?” So I had to. Haha! I am glad you enjoyed it.

  2. We have a bagless vac, there is a “full” line on it, I try to make sure I empty it before full, but some people, I’m guessing similar to you, vacuum until it quits, then call me to dissect it and get the hairball out of the plumbing.
    On a similar note I had a DOH moment. The shop vac is wet or dry. For wet you take out the dust filter. Well evidently I used it for wet and didn’t replace the filter when done. The next time I went to vacuum the sawdust in the shop I grab the vac and hearing protection, I’m happily vacuuming up sawdust. Not realizing the cloud of dust sneaking up on me. Had to open the big door and turn on the fan to get the cloud outside. Waited for the remainder to settle then vacuum again. This time with the filter in place.

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