Adaptation. That’s one of the key words in marriage, I think. Adapt to sharing closet space, adapt to someone else’s schedule, adapt to the quirks and eccentricities of another person.
I’ve come to realize since moving into our small apartment that there are certain things the Mister is going to do every single day, regardless of how many times I’ve reminded him to stop. And at first those things annoyed me and drove me crazy, but now I’ve adapted to include the correcting of those things in my normal, expected routine.
For example, anytime I walk into the kitchen I automatically raise my right hand and close the first cabinet by the doorway, because I know it will be open. It always is. That’s where the plates and bowls are, and the Mister never closes it.
Every time I enter or exit our bedroom I automatically reach for the closet light switch to flip it off, because I know it will be on. If the Mister has been in the room at all that day, it will be on. Even if the door is closed and the bedroom light itself has been turned off. That’s just how it is.
Like I said, these things and others used to drive me bananas, but now I think if they were to stop I would reach for that cabinet door… find it closed… and feel a little bit sad. I would bend to pick up the clothes wedged behind the bathroom door and find nothing there… and feel a bit sad.
I’m sure the Mister has examples of these things with me too (and at least one probably involves the bowl of cooking grease I keep on the stove top), but this weekend he showed true acceptance of my quirks… he slept on the left side of the bed when I wasn’t there.
This is monumental because I made him move to the left side when we got married and he had a bit of a hard time adjusting. He always talks about the right side as “his side” that he just lets me use. When he’s been gone somewhere, he sleeps on the right or in the middle in defiance. But this weekend, even after saying he was going to sleep on “his side” while I was gone… he still slept on the left. Because that’s his side, and the right is my side. And he finally accepts that.
For some reason that means a lot to me, and I don’t know exactly why. It’s the little things, I guess, that keep it all together in the end. 🙂